That Marriage Thang

I've been thinking lately about the whole marriage thang. I am currently teetering on the edge of 30 years old and not married. I don't have any thing against marriage, nor was it ever part of my "life plan" to be nearly 30 and unmarried.

Actually, I believe my life plan went something like: graduate college with bachelors degree at 21, meet guy, fall in love, marry at 23, buy house, have horses, live fairy tale. May or may not have included kids, I don't remember. Never been much of a fan of them.

Instead of that, life has gone more like this...go to community college. Meet guy some where in there. Buy car and horse that you need to continue working to pay for. Work 2 part time jobs, go to night classes, still a full time student. Take a little time off from school. Go back. Finally get AA after 4 1/2 years. Never make it to "real college". Get engaged to guy because we've been together for 3 years and that's what you do. Besides, I'm almost 23 and that's when I'm supposed to be married. Break up with guy after a month of being engaged. Date some more. Pass 23rd birthday, which is when you were supposed to be married. Buy yourself a truck and horse trailer to cheer yourself up. Continue living with parents. Date some more. Finally meet boy of my dreams. Move out of parents house into house with boy of my dreams after 2 years of being together. You're 25 by then. Talk about getting married. Buy house together instead. Talk about getting married some more. Buy new tractor instead. Buy new horse trailer. Buy new horse. etc. etc. etc. And now, here I am, owning a house, truck and horse trailer with boy of my dreams, firmly cemented in this relationship, possibly more then if we had that piece of paper telling us we're legally married. But we're still not married. Technically.

I've never been one of those people that thinks it's "just a piece of paper". Ever. I've never NOT wanted to be married. I certainly never expected to be here and not married. But life has a funny way of carrying on and changing priorities. I'm happy. We are happy. We love our life. Neither of us has any thing against marriage. No previous marriages, no baggage with parents surrounding the idea of marriage. We do plan to get married, just haven't done it yet.

It is strange to me when people that I haven't seen in a while ask if I'm still with the same guy. We bought a house together. We are in it for life, just as much as any of my married friends. Does not having that piece of paper making it legal or rings on our fingers make our relationship not as committed?

Every once in a while I get the wedding bug, but it usually passes fairly quickly. It's just not a priority. I refuse to go to Vegas. Just not my style. I'm not opposed to a court house wedding, but I want to include my family and friends. That means doing the whole wedding thang which requires planning and time and money and that is probably the main hold up. There are other things I'd rather do with that time and money. We own and show horses. 'Nuff said. lol Besides, why mess up a good thing?

And so here I am, almost 30 years old (OMG!!!), been together with the Boyfriend for nearly 6 years, and I have the whole fairy tale life I had envisioned (mostly anyways, there is always the crappy real life stuff that comes up, like work), with every thing I hoped for. Except that little piece of paper.

I know at least a couple of my bloggy buddies have been with their bf's for quite a while and are not married. It's not uncommon. And this isn't a rant or anything, I'm just really curious about this. Why? Was it a choice to not get married? Was it something that just happened, like me? Why is that "piece of paper" so important? Or so important to avoid?

It's a very curious phenomenon.

To me at least.

Not Enough Hours in the Day!

Whew! Do you ever just feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? Or enough energy in your body?

I think I usually feel like that. There is always a long "To Do" list for tomorrow that never gets all the way done and keeps getting rolled over to the next day. It just seems like it's been particularly bad lately.

This time last year we had just moved into our new home and were so busy getting it put together and then getting our land cleared in a panic (I swear I'll tell you that story someday!) and then with drill and my best friend's wedding, the whole summer just disappeared and the yard, with all of it's flower beds and overgrown gravel, was sorely neglected. We're paying for it this year. It's been a lot of work to get it back under control. We're still not there, but we're getting close.

Trouble is, we're also trying to get fencing done, pastures cleared, cleaned up, graded and seeded, arena-to-be's done, the barn fixed and stalls put in. We also need to get piping ran from the well house to the barn and various pastures for water. Most of the inside of the house still needs painting and we're planning to pressure wash and re-stain the exterior and the decks, after we fix a few boards. All while we're doing a cutting show series and practicing on buffalo once a week, along with my drill practice once a week, on top of full time jobs and all the other fun stuff that comes with being a responsible adult and home and animal owner.

Geez, no wonder I'm tired all the time. Just looking at that list makes me want to take a nap!

Problem is, I also like having atleast a little bit of a social life. And riding my horse in the arena. And going for trail rides. And spending the day at the lake. And laying out in the sun. And I love, love, love reading. And taking pictures. And blogging. And reading other blogs. I would also like to have barebeque's with friends and family and get togethers and do fun stuff like that. There just hasn't been much time for any of that stuff lately though. Yard work has been consuming my life!

Another "Someday" project is to rip up our entire front yard and redo it. It's not level, which drives the boyfriend insane. It's got lots of humps and bumps and a couple pretty good holes that I swear I hit and roll my ankle on every single time I pass them. I also want to get rid of about two-thirds of the insanely huge flower bed in the front, make it part of the lawn. I figure if we bring it in tighter to the house and just have a few azalea bushes or something it should be pretty low maintenance. And another hundred square feet or so of grass to mow will be nothing. I like low maintenance. Low Maintenance is my best friend when it comes to yard work!

Until we get to that Someday though, I have a crazy big flower bed to take care of. It's currently growing more grass then our pastures. And some black berry bushes. And clover. Have you ever tried to get rid of clover in a flower bed?!? We have the stuff that has the dark leaves and the root system on those suckers is freakin amazing! Drives me insane. And since I didn't weed much last year everything is reseeding itself like crazy this year. Grrr!

And then, silly us, we decided to plant a veggie garden this year. What were we thinking?!? It was fun to put it in! I'm sure it will be fun when it starts producing edible veggies (assuming it survives me and my "Black Thumb of Death"), but until then, can you say high maintenance?!

We also have raspberries that got completely out of control last year. Of course since it was the longest, grossest winter ever this year and still frosting in May (!!!) we didn't get anything done with them to get them back in order before they started their season. Oops! I'm currently chipping away at the very tall grass and weeds that is trying to completely over take them, but it's a lot of work and there are new shoots every where and I have to crawl around in between them to get everything cleared out. Did you know raspberry bushes have thorns? Not big ones like blackberries, but little needly ones. My arms were toast after Round 1. I looked like I had been in a fight with a bunch of cats. Seriously. It's been a lot of work to get them freed up. Almost done though.

I have tons of before pictures of projects we've been working on, but it seems like every time I really start making some progress on one, another more urgent one comes up and off I go! One of these days I'll get them finished up so I can do some after pics.

I'm also dying to read thru the Twilight series again. And I have a crafty projects that I owe people. And I have Lover Avenged to read. And, since I'm a dope on a rope, I started yet another series that I'm totally diggin'. And I have lots of DVR'd shows to catch up on. And lots of other things that I'd absolutely love to be doing.

But I know the satisfaction of having my yard under control will be worth it. If it ever gets there.

Someday.

Miscellaneous

Well, I thought I was done blogging for the weekend after my blog-a-thon last night. But here I am again with more thoughts rattling around in my brain.

First off I would like to point out that it is now March 15th and I once again woke up to snow this morning. Have I mentioned I'm ready for summer?

Second, it was not a dream. I did win a buckle yesterday. Did I mention I have a buckle? I do, I won a buckle! *grins*

Third, I told the boyfriend I would share the buckle with him. I think he deserves it just as much as I do. He tried it on last night. It looked good on him. It has not gone on my belt yet. Not sure why. I guess probably because it's hard to look at it when it's on your stomach and I'd rather stare at it in the box. Yes, I am a nerd. But you know what? It's ok, cuz I have a buckle! hehehe

And last...today is Cheyanne's birthday! She is one year old today! My little baby is growing up! *sniff, sniff* I can't believe that a year ago today, we weren't even living in this house, I think we would have been in the process of making an offer at that point and certainly not considering getting a puppy at all! But here we are with Cheyanne one year old already and I love her to death. She is the cutest puppy dog ever and I can't imagine not having her around!

This pic was the day we brought her home. She got sick in the truck and didn't know what to think about not having all her siblings around. What an adorable teeny tiny little ball of fur!

And this is Cheyanne today. Ok, well, really it was last week, but it's cold and wet and gross outside and she is having a blast playing in the nasty weather and getting filthy dirty and I don't want to take a new picture of her like that.

This is her favorite spot to curl up when I'm on the computer (yes our computer is at our kitchen table and I feel the need to admit that no we don't eat there much). She is usually curled up with one of her favorite toys too. This is her all time favorite toy Piggy. It was one of the first puppy toys I got her, but she destroyed that one. I felt horible throwing out her favorite toy ever so I had to go buy her another one. She was so stinking excited when I gave it to her! It was the cutest thing ever. Now only the rawhide bones take precedence over Piggy.

So happy birthday Chey! Here's to many more great years!

Ok, I think that's all for the weekend. But no promises. I do have a few more ideas swimming around in my head, I just don't know if they'll make it on here any time soon.

High School

Wow. I just received the first email about my 10 year high school reunion. I can't believe it's been that long already. But at the same time it seems like a completely different life. A more carefree, fun life where friends and Friday night football games, a part time job and a boyfriend were my life, though probably not in that order. When my biggest concern was finals. At the time, that was a big deal. Ha! Makes me miss that life. Almost.

I was a teenager and not particularly proud of some things that I did, though I do laugh about them now. It's annoying to look back and realize that mom really did know best, so many times, when I refused to believe that. Oh well, you live and you learn. I know I wasn't a horrible kid, I didn't get into too much trouble, but I think I was a pretty typical teenager, attitude and all.

Up until I got that email I really had no intention of going to the reunion. I didn't hate high school, just wasn't a big fan of it looking back. I had no desire to see all of those people again. None. And it's not because I got fat or became an alcoholic or am still working at the lame job I had in high school or any other reason that I'd be embarrassed to show them what I've become. On the contrary, I'm pretty proud of my life right now. I just really had no desire to socialize with all those people that I didn't socialize with back then.

To explain that, I suppose I need to tell you (well, those of you who don't know me that well) that I'm shy. Really shy. Generally. Once you're my friend, I'll talk your ear off, but if I don't know you and don't have a good reason to talk to you, I probably won't. It's nothing personal, just me. I joke that I'm anti-social. It's funny cuz it's sorta true.

Apparently, this gives people the impression that I'm a snob, which is apparently what a lot of people thought of me in high school. I was totally floored when someone pointed this out to me. I did not understand how people could think I was a snob! And then I started thinking about the people that I thought were snobs. I think some of them really are snobs of the highest order, but some of them, I realized, were probably just shy, like me.

Because of all of this, I was really surprised when I got the email and started looking thru the list of names from my class and realized that I want to go to the reunion. Ok, maybe saying I want to go isn't exactly accurate, but I wouldn't mind going. We'll see if it actually happens. I'm still trying to swallow the fact that it's already time for my 10 year high school reunion. One more thing to add to the list of things making me feel old lately!

Oh my

As if I haven't been having enough issues lately, now my eye balls have to join in on the "Let's make her feel really old" party that everything else in my life seems to be having.

I know, relatively speaking, I'm still pretty young. But 30 is now looming on the horizon and I gotta tell you, it kinda scares the poo outta me. I don't want to be 30! I like 27 just fine. It's been treating me pretty good. I liked 25 even better. It seems like a good age. I realized that as of January 1st I'm officially closer to 30 then I am to 25. I don't like that.

Soon, the boyfriend will be able to return all the crap I've given him since he turned 30. He's now 31. For his 30th birthday I got him a card that said something along the lines of, You're 30 years old! on the outside and then when you opened it up it had a big face with a tongue that stuck out as it opened and the inside said And I'm not! hehe That was a great card! He can't exactly get something like that for me when I turn 30, but I'll still be 30.

It seems like I've been contemplating my age and the fact that I'm truly an adult a lot lately. Not just an adult, but seemingly a mature, responsible adult with a full time job, furball kids, a significant other and my very own home. I'm still not exactly sure when it all happened.

This latest round of contemplation was brought on by my sudden realization that maybe the reason for my headaches, exhaustion and difficulty with my computer screen at work is my eyes. My eyes have never failed me before. I've always had perfect vision. Never needed glasses or contacts. But lately, especially after all of my recent reading marathons in not so great light, my eyes just haven't been the same. A couple days ago, after much fretting over what the heck was wrong with me, it suddenly occurred to me that I should have my eyes checked. Sure enough, I need reading glasses.

Now, I know nothing about vision problems, since I've never had them, so maybe it's really nothing and I just got the prescription to make me feel better (sort of like a placebo), but I am getting reading glasses. My mom's reaction was pretty much the same as mine...but you're only 27! How can you need reading glasses already? My parents didn't get their reading glasses until they were in their 40's! Reading glasses just seem like something that is only for old people. When I hear reading glasses I picture the little half glasses on the tip of some wrinkly old cotton ball's nose looking over the early bird menu at Denny's. So you see where my complex about this is coming from.

When I really think about it though, I know the majority of my friends have glasses. They have always had them though. Atleast as long as I can remember. I'm not worried about wearing glasses, I'm actually kind of looking forward to being able to sport glasses, I've always wanted to. Kind of like straight haired girls always want curly hair and the curly haired girls always want straight hair. But it's not an "old age" thing for them. Mine is an old age thing. Or atleast that's what I'm classifying it as. I know 27 is hardly old, but it just seems to be adding to the pile of things that are making me feel old lately. Is it too early to be having a mid-life crisis? hehe

The kitchen...again

I found a theme for my kitchen! It doesn't quite incorporate everything that I wanted it to, but a towel and potholder that I've had for 5 years or so is a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. Plus there isn't any rule that says I can't use the towel and pot holder, I'm just a bit particular about details like that.

The new theme is coc...I mean...Roosters! I found this great pattern at Macy's and got a STEAL of a deal on them to boot! (I have mentioned that I like bargains, right?)

I was on a mission to get a new platter and serving bowl(s) before Thanksgiving since the ones that I got last year were cheap pieces of poop. The platter shattered while being hand washed after dinner and the bowl cracked in the dishwasher (yes, it was marked as dishwasher safe!) I wasn't too upset since I didn't like them all that much to begin with, but it was still irritating.

I also wanted something to hang on my walls, so that maybe I could feel like my kitchen was really finished. I was thinking of decorative plates, but hadn't found any that I really liked.

So after much hunting and fretting, I came across this set, "Ricamo" by Fitz and Floyd. It had the same yellow as my mixer. It isn't the main yellow, but there is enough of it to tie in nicely. It also ties in all of the blue that I have in my kitchen, as well as the wire rooster that I already had. It's modern, but a bit country.

The best part...it totally POPS on my wall and makes the white-ish walls not so blah! I am still considering painting the wall with the door yellow though. I just think it would be fun. To have it yellow that is, not the painting part so much.

So I'm getting closer to being completely sassified with my kitchen. Still not 100% there, but 99.7% ain't bad! :)

Introducing...

Well, here I am. I finally did it. I have created a blog. Yikes! I've been completely addicted to reading various blogs over the past few months and kept thinking I should start one up myself. But what would I write about? Certainly nothing that anyone would really be interested in reading. Still pretty darn sure no one is going to be looking at it on any sort of regular basis, but that's just fine by me. It might be nice to be able to vent my frustrations, brag about my furry four legged kids, tell the tales of my adventures in horse showing and home owning and just get things down on "paper" so I can mull them over some more. And if it ends up being entertaining for someone else, then I guess I get some bonus points!

So a little bit about me...I've recently purchased my first home with my boyfriend. We found an amazing house that had 4.3 wooded acres, way, WAY out in the boonies, but it means we get to keep our horses with us and it was liveable at the time of the sale, which was huge compared to the other sh**holes we had been looking at. Soon after we moved in we ended up buying a puppy, who is the cutest darn thing ever. We have 3 horses, my 6 yo QH mare, Midori, a 4 yo QH gelding Mister and a 3 yo QH mare Sugar. We both enjoy riding and have just begun showing together. I have been on a drill team for a few years now, but this summer we decided to give cutting a try and went to a couple very small weekend cutting shows. It was a lot of fun and I think we're both hooked. This winter we plan to give reining a shot. Of course this is all in the green/beginner, "we don't really know what the heck we're doing, but we want to pretend" classes. It's still fun. Especially when you can actually be a little competitive in them!

We love all of our critters and having a home that we can enjoy them at. Lately it has been hitting home that I'm really an adult now. I have a mortgage, I have animals that I'm responsible for, I work full time and have a house to take care of and fix up. I'm generally always broke because I'm both a home owner and own and show horses. Don't get me wrong, I do love my life and I wouldn't want it any other way (well, except for the money part, I could always use some more money!) but I miss the good ol' days when I could just take off and ride all day or curl up in bed and read a good book all weekend and didn't have to worry about feeding everybody or doing the dishes or laundry or heading to work so I still have a vehicle to drive and a house to live in next month.

Oh well, I guess growing up is inevitable. Must be my quarter life crisis or something. So sit back, relax, grab a nice big margarita and enjoy reading my blog.

ps - I highly recomment the 'rita...might make my ramblings more bearable!